Fill Your Emotional Needs Without Using Credit Cards
Friday, December 7th, 2007There is a reason that we love credit cards. Credit cards allow us to make purchases that we wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford. A small number of people use them because they truly can’t afford to pay for their basic needs (such as food and shelter). However, most people are using credit cards to pay for things that they don’t need and just want. This satisfies a number of different emotional needs that we have. It allows us to indulge our desire for instant gratification. It helps us to acquire items that we feel can boost our self-esteem. And it can make us feel like all of the hard work we do is giving us some reward.
Unfortunately, when our credit card debt piles up, there are other emotions that arise. These emotions are not pleasant at all. That wonderful feeling of instant gratification is replaced by disappointment over the amount of debt that we have. The ego-boost we got from our items is deflated when we realize that we need more lipstick, nicer clothing, or a better car to “keep up with the Joneses”. And we find that we have to work twice as hard to pay off our debt which causes work-related stress. If these are problems that plague you, you might have an emotional need in your life that you should learn to fill without the use of credit cards.
The desire for instant gratification can be curbed through some forethought. The goal here is to set aside a certain amount of each paycheck that you have as your “fun money.” Then you need to find items that you can afford in order to satisfy your need to buy something. For example, you might want to get a new CD but you don’t have enough money. Consider downloading a song from iTunes instead. You still get new music and you don’t have to use credit cards to get it.
The ego-boost that you get from acquiring items with your credit cards will need a little bit more inner work to curtail. This comes from a deep-seated feeling that we aren’t “good enough”. We feel that we have to show the world our “stuff” in order to have people like us. The best way to fight this is to make sure that we surround ourselves with people who love us for who we are, not for the things that we have. Additional psychological help may be necessary to improve self-esteem.
By working on the underlying problems that cause us to spend money that we don’t have, we can reduce our need to use our credit cards. This will allow us to relax more in our daily lives. We will be able to work less because we aren’t struggling to pay off debt. And yet we will be able to enjoy that work more because we are more well-rounded in our lives. It’s a win-win situation worth taking the time to figure out.
