How to Talk About Credit Card Debt with Your Spouse
Thursday, February 14th, 2008One of the biggest things that married couples fight about is money. And within that category, credit card debt is a number one source of financial stress. Couples argue about their credit card problems for many different reasons. Getting to the root of those reasons can help you to learn how to better communicate about your debt. And communication is going to be the key to resolving the problem.
The first thing that you need to realize is that you and your spouse are both upset about the issue. Whenever a conversation involves a heated topic, it can lead to a difficult discussion. You need to commit from the get-go to being open-minded and calm when talking about your credit card problems. If you fail to do this, you’re going to get immersed in a blame game that’s going to have both of you tearing your hair out. You need to consider yourselves to be partners on the same team, battling the enemy of credit card debt. Otherwise, you’re going to be each others’ enemies instead.
The next thing that you need to understand is that people view credit card debt (and money in general) very differently. The problem might be that you and your spouse have never really discussed your underlying beliefs about credit card debt. In order to get talking about the issue, you need to clarify this. Start by asking each other a few simple questions and truly listening to each others’ answers. Those questions include:
• What do you think credit cards should be used for?
• How much credit card debt do you think is too much?
• What time frame do you believe debt should be paid off in?
Don’t argue with each other over these answers. The goal here is to get an understanding of where each of you is coming from in order to be able to reach a middle ground.
Finally, you need to look towards the future. It’s easy to get mired in the past, blaming each other for the amount of credit card debt that you’ve acquired. However, that’s not going to solve the problem. You need to work together to set goals about your credit card debt, using the information that you gained from your communication. Then you need to find ways to work together to meet those goals. By looking towards the future, you help keep yourselves on the same side of the problem so that it can get resolved.
